LANSING, MI – Rumors are floating that Gov. Gretchen Whitmer has decided to take her failures national with a seven-figure book deal, and the Michigan Freedom Fund today released a set of suggested titles for the new tome that best represents Whitmer’s record of corruption, kickback schemes, and failed leadership.

A Politician’s Guide To Faking Governance

Despite promises to make Michigan an attractive place to live, Michigan continues to shrink in every possible way. New business applications declined in Michigan from 2022 to 2023. In 2022, 167,000 residents left Michigan, meaning Michigan now ranks in the bottom five states people are moving to. The death rate is also far exceeding the birth rate in Michigan.

Meanwhile, students continue to struggle to get back on track in post-COVID Michigan. Achievement gaps are wider than before 2020, and 60,000 students cannot read. To make matters worse, Whitmer vetoed reading scholarships for students but repealed the third-grade reading law.

Lost In Florida: One Michigander’s Travel Guide

Let us not forget Whitmer’s secret Spring 2021 trip to Florida and the disastrous cover-up that followed. From the lies to bent federal regulations to broken COVID policies, Whitmer has a lot of advice to impart to readers on how best to travel to the Sunshine State without getting caught…well, almost.

Gone With The Windmills

Whitmer has almost single-handedly torn apart Michigan’s critical energy and manufacturing infrastructure in pursuit of her political goals. It started in the 2018 MI Climate Plan (that is now offline) by shutting down the Palisades nuclear plant which put the grid’s reliability at risk and ended with a faulty and expensive climate plan that tramples the rights of local communities.

Additionally, in service to a myopic vision of an “all-electric future,” Whitmer’s Ford-Marshall deal was awarded the worst economic development deal in 2023. Problems with the deal included $1.75 billion given in subsidies before the size of the project decreased, a group that shares a phone number with Whitmer’s re-election campaign harassing citizens who opposed the project, as well as ‘unrealistic predictions’ and an ‘uncertain future’.

The Job Not Done

And finally, no Whitmer chronicle would be complete without a recount of the empty promises that litter Whitmer’s campaign trail. “Fix the damn roads” was abandoned almost as soon as it was pitched. Calls for transparency rang hollow when Whitmer signed a so-called “transparency” package that fell far short of public expectations, and even further from her 2018 “Michigan Sunshine Plan”. Finally, her failed promise to lower prices for consumers as the prices of groceries and healthcare continue to be on the rise.

“We doubt many of Governor Whitmer’s failed policies and coverups will make it into her rumored seven-figure book deal,” said Mary Drabik, Communications Director for the Michigan Freedom Fund. “However, at no cost, we’re offering Gretchen Whitmer some suggested book titles, including: ‘How to Ruin a State in Five Years or Less’, ‘The Job Not Done’, ‘Lying Your Way Through Governing’, and ‘Gretchen Whitmer: The Gaslighting Queen’.”